Bleargh

After 11 years of hoping, wishing, dreaming that I’d one day meet Johnny Depp, I had finally given up when the Pirates of the Caribbean junket went to somebody else. Somebody who doesn’t work in the office no less. If only the bitch that signs all my claims wasn’t so farky I would have gone for it. But then again, Johnny Depp wasn’t going to participate in the junket so that’s some solace for me there, but still, I haven’t gotten a single one of those movie junkets since I was FORCED TO JOIN SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS HATED.

Yes I’m whining but it’s my right. Maybe I’m just a scorned woman like the fury that hell hath (thanks Jack!). If you’re already annoyed with me, scroll down. 

I am so re-in-love with .

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End ROCKS! I loved it. I love Johnny and his clones, I love Johnny’s long-lost relative, I love the monkey, the goat, the parrot, the crabs, the barnacles and the rum. Yes, there’s always rum.

Ah Fat-ko, or Chow Yun-Fat as Hollywood spells his name, was a little underused I felt, but you do feel the impact. He spoke Cantonese in the film though… As a Singaporean character, shouldn’t he be speaking er, Mandarin or Hokkien??? Hehe. Well, they never really mentioned that he was FROM Singapore, just that he was IN Singapore. In any case, wasn’t Singapore still known as Temasek then???

Ah, but, my dear friends, these questions won’t come to you while you’re watching it, so don’t worry. "It’s just my neh-chore."

What I didn’t like about the movie was the "Attack of the 50-foot Woman" scene. Seemed like an anti-climax to me.

Oooh, and, and, and, if you’re planning to get any CDs this week, get the Pirates soundtrack. That haunting "Yo-Ho" song (as opposed to the hippity-hoppity Yo, HOE!… haha private joke, move along) will keep playing in your head after the film’s over. AND, if you had been planning to buy the latest LP album, chuck that idea and buy the Pirates soundtrack instead.

Oh AND, please don’t walk out of the cinema RIGHT after because there’s kinda like a surprise thing about five to 10 minutes after the credits roll. Nothing much lah, some say that one also anti-climactic, but for me, it was fine.

For those of you who love Orlando Bloom, I can assure you you’ll wet your pants towards the end of the show when the goody-two-shoes Will Turner transforms into a new man with a bandana (is it bandanna? who cares!). I’m not a big fan of Bloom’s Will Turner, though I do love his Legolas (it’s the long, blonde hair thing, weird, I know), but dang, I gotta say that boy’s got the goods to play a rough-and-tumble kind of guy! Woohoo! 

FYI, this is BEFORE his transformation.

Hamana hamana hamana….

I swoon, you swoon, we all swoon…

Tomorrow morning I’ll be watching Shrek the Third. A colleague said it’s "okay-lah only" but then again, a bad film at the cinema is better than a good day at the office, ba-da-bing!

The problem with some of the male photographers working in The Bintang is that most of the time, they take gatal pictures like these:

Yes, boobies galore. Luckily, Unduk’s pic is decent, though I can hardly say the same about the other girl in the same frame. You can argue that pics of Western celebrities are usually worse, but these ain’t no Western celebs.

PLUS, I know for a fact that most pixmen from all newspaper publications take pics like these cause they want to oggle at them later. Iyer.

I mean, they know that pics like these usually won’t be published, so why take at all? "Souvenir mah," would be the most common reply.

The Bintang photographers would also say: "Boss suka, sure print punya." And they’d be right, the big bosses at The Bintang are made up of stupid and horny old men who think nothing of publishing booby pics such as these. Except during Ramadhan.

Oh, and speaking of stupid old people, last Friday I got so worked up because somebody didn’t do what I wanted them to do. Basically I wanted this picture of Sylvester Stallone as Rocky to be  placed prominently on one page. However, the person who did that page decided that because Mr Stallone got into trouble with the law recently, we shouldn’t be highlighting his picture so much, even if the pic is relevant to the story.

So, judging by this stupid woman’s theory, we shouldn’t really be publishing pictures of Paris Hilton, Alec Baldwin, Brandy, Snoop Dogg and the thousands of other celebrities with legal problems.

She is by far the stupidest person I know.

GRRR.

Anyways, I’m on a "Things to do before I turn 31" quest. So far, I’ve got two things on my list that I’m actually doing — lose SOME weight and fix teeth.

I’m in the middle of fixing my teeth, which is no picnic. I’ve gone to the dentist four times already, and pulled (okaylah, extracted) more teeth than I’d like to count. And it didn’t help that I got an infection that day. Sial. My gums are still bleeding a bit today, though it looked and felt worse yesterday. The doctor said it’s normal to get infections after extractions especially if one doesn’t take care what one eats, hint, hint. Okay, he didn’t exactly SAY "hint, hint" but he did imply it with his eyes.

Next will be fillings. I hate fillings. All I can say is OWEE. :( 

Anyways, next to painful teeth fixings, you would think that losing weight would be a cinch. Riiiight…

My venti is cold now, it’s time to go home.

Bali.

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Perez Hilton moment: Hello, girl in turqoise, I can see your tan line… and you need a new make-up artist. And sack your hairstylist while you’re at it. 

Can you hear me getting bitch-slapped?

Minggu ini saya guna talipon:

I’m still waitin’ for that darn N95! My pocket is lonely already!!!

Yay! The video went through! This clip is excellent, it stars Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and McKay’s toddler daughter Pearl. The twist is that Pearl plays Will Ferrell’s foul-mouthed, foul-tempered, boozing landlord. Hahahahahahaha…

Quotes and excerpts I like from shows I either like, hate, don’t really watch or miss watching:

• That 70s Show

Fez: What’s disco?
Steven Hyde: It’s from Hell. And, not the cool part of hell where all the murderers are either, but the lame-ass part where accountants are from

• Will & Grace

Will: C-3PO wasn’t gay, he was British.
*******

Karen: Oh, coulda shoulda Prada!

*******

Karen: [to Will] Oh honey, I have a fake laugh with your name written all over it.
*******

Will: Ahh Jack. Cute as a button, but not quite as smart.
*******

Jack: Language was only needed when unattractive people were born so they could be commented on.
*******

Jack: Karen, you are constantly partially there for me… is there anything I can pretend to do for you?
*******

• The Simpsons

Lisa: That’s Latin, Dad; the language of Plutarch.
Homer: Mickey Mouse’s dog?

******

Bart: This is Milhouse. He’s my best friend, because… Well, geographical convenience.
******

Homer: Never fear. The cosmic fool is here.

• In Living Color

Anton Jackson: [giving a toast] May your liquor be cold, your women be hot, and may all of your problems just slide off like snot.
*******

• Family Guy

Stewie Griffin: Damn you, vile woman, you’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped your wretched womb.
*******

Stewie Griffin: [Brian is reading the newspaper] Look where my hand is. I say, look where my hand is. It’s in a very naughty place.
Stewie Griffin: [Brian puts the paper down, Stewie's finger is in his nose] Does this not disgust you?
Brian Griffin: Kid, you’re talking to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.

*******

[Stewie has run away and Brian discovers this note]
Stewie Griffin: Dear Stupid Dog, I’ve gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm. Good-bye forever, Stewie. P.S.- I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I’m probably over the 30-day return limit, but I’m sure if you make a fuss they’ll at least give you a store credit or something. It’s actually not a horrible sweater, it’s just I can’t imagine when I would ever wear it, you know? Oh and I also left a button on the bureau, um I’m not sure what it goes to but um I, I can never bring myself to throw a button away, I know as soon as I do, I’ll find the garment it goes to and then it’ll, wait a minute actually could it have been from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm. Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again good-bye forever. PPS- You know what, it might be a little chilly in London, I’m actually going to take the sweater.

*******

Peter Griffin: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Glen Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Glen Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin’ me. "Hey, let’s put one over on Quagmire."
Peter Griffin: No, he’s actually a guy, Quagmire.
Glen Quagmire: What? That’s insane. That’s impossible.
[pause]
Glen Quagmire: Oh god. Oh my god. I’ve got all these magazines. Oh god.