Bleargh

I’ve been waiting for No Doubt to come by South-East Asia for ages now… and they’re coming next week!

Trouble is, I won’t be around to watch them play!

Dang it. Oh well. I’ll be in Kangarooland hanging out with ET and WK, and we’ll all be toasting happy times to JP and BP, or what ET calls PihPillai.
Still, it’d be great if No Doubt would at least consider performing in say, Bangkok a day after I get back or something… but I guess I’m just not that lucky.

I hate John Legend. Listened to “Again” twice today and I am in such a melancholic mood now! That man’s songs are simply lethal to an emotionally unstable person like me. Haiya. Time to listen to some stupid tunes to get back in a jolly mood.

There. Michael Jackson’s “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You”, which I have actually heard 10 times today. I love it, y’all! I always end up singing the whole song myself at karaoke sessions because it’s a little hard to figure out which one’s Siedah and which lines are Michael’s. hehe.

Well, at least that’s what I keep telling people. I just want to sing the whole song myself. Yay!

Work has been very boring these days. It’s just more of the same old, same old. Tried to write but so far I’ve only done one story. Later I have to finish an article on one stupid TV show I volunteered to review. Crap. I haven’t even been watching the show. Oh well.

I just cannot figure out why I have been so uninspired to be more progressive at work. I thought that perhaps it had something to do with the slow death of my social life. But I’ve been going out almost every weekend now - thanks to “marlyn” (and gang) and the kids, too - but things are no longer like how they used to be I guess.

I don’t meet new people anymore because I know they are all going to end up annoying me so why bother, right?

Ah, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas” now. I love it!

Hopefully, I will not get into one of my moods in MelB because nobody wants to hang around a bitch with a stick up her own ass, really.

Anyways, back to being uninspired. Hmm… Alcohol, exercise, partying have not been working… holiday? Not really cause I haven’t been stressed out over work or whatever. Depressed, yes, but not stressed out.

I think I just need to go on an overseas assignment, specifically, to Los Angeles. Usually after I get back from a trip to LA I’d be so hardworking and would keep writing as many stories as I could muster from my assignment. I think it’s because I love the place so much everything that happens there is inspiring to me.

It also has to do with the people I meet at these assignments. Sure, some of them are irritating, and others just keep to themselves, but I’m an avid observer and I don’t need anyone to talk to me to figure out what kind of a person he is. I love the way the journalists all interact on these assignments, I even love their pompousness. Well, not really but I love observing it.

Alas, though, I don’t think I’d get that chance this year. Everyone seems to think that it’s highly unfair of me to get sent overseas for assignments because technically, I am not a reporter anymore.
Sadness.

Maybe I should just stick to writing a new post on this blog each day. Nobody’s reading it, really, but it’s a great way to get the stale creative juices flowing.

I seriously need a jolt of interesting to my boring old bones.

Oooh, in other news, Liz and Kaz welcomed their bundle of joy on Sept 11. Heh. Riley Hope’s gonna be one spoiled baby, I tell ya!

Ps/ if you’re feeling a little down in the dumps, here’s a song that will definitely not cheer you up, hehe:

“Again”

The first time we ever got a chance to be alone we knew,
That it was wrong to do,
I guess that’s why I was drawn to you,
The 2nd time leads to the 3rd, the 5th, the 7th time,
I feel so alive, it won’t last but it’s alright,
Fleeting joy and fading ecstasy, here it goes again, oh,
Sneaking fruit from the forbidden tree, sweet taste of sin,

And I’m doing it again;
Yes, I’m doing it again,
Oh, I’m doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again,

This time you told me you saw me at the same hotel,
You said you knew me well, and I had a familiar smell,
You asked me how am I ever gonna learn to put my trust in you,
Like you want me to, ’cause I know what you’re prone to do,
Accusations fly like bullets do, here it goes again, oh,
But you know me because you’re doing it too,
The cycle never ends, never ends,

Oh, you’re doing it again,
Yes, you’re doing it again,
Oh, you’re doing it again,
You said it would end but here it goes again, and again, and again

Damn, I love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately,
Why can’t we just trust each?
You can’t hate me and be my lover,
Passion ends, and pains begins, I come back…

And we’re doing it again,
Yes, we’re doing it again,
Oh, we’re doing it again,
We said it would end but here it goes again.

Each time you call me home in a sweet refrain,
Saying things will change, you’ll take away the pain,
Then we flashback to the first time you put your spell on me,
You envelop me, you feel good as hell to me.
One moment leads to another few,
Here it goes again, oh, oh,
Leaving you is, oh, so hard to do,
I just can’t pretend, can’t pretend,

I keep doing it again,
Oh, I’m doing it again,
Yes, I’m doing it again,
I said it would end, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah

Oh, I’m doing it again,
I said it would end, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, I’m doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again, again.

ENJOY!

Hot damn dragon!

This week:

Near your close friends you’ll find comfort and sympathy that’ll again give life its beautiful colors and you your solid appetite for living. You’ll be able to make good bargains, and the small delays that annoyed you will be forgotten. Don’t judge your fellow-men too hastily; show fair play and indulgence.

* and the Leo: Know that you’re a unique being; you don’t have to act like everybody.

Gave the PST a can of Kama Sutra Mints. Erotic mints for the adult mind or something like that. When I bought them I thought they’d be regular mints, though I did think that perhaps they’d come in penis or boob shapes. Well, we got luckier: The mints have Kama Sutra position embossed on them! Hehe. Not that many positions, maybe about five or six, but still, so cool yeah?

I’ll buy more the next time I’m at that sex shop in Singapore (Bugis Street, y’all!).

The fasting month’s begun and I’ve only been woken up once by the idiot boy on the 17th floor, who just haaaaad to loudly do his azan at 4am or whatever sahur time is here.  Luckily he didn’t scream out the whole thing in the kitchen, my guess is he went to the living room or his room to finish up the whole azan, which I thought was a little weird. Aren’t you supposed to sembahyang in one place? Can jalan2 one meh? Hmmm…

Btw, this is the same boy who’ll loudly sing lagu rock kapak or jiwang songs in the shower at ungodly hours.

Been eating pork the whole day. I think I’ll be needing some fish for dinner today.

Ciao.

I get jealous easily. Well, I don’t get jealous over things like achievements or wealth or beauty, I only get jealous when friends and family don’t pay attention to me.

It’s weird because I almost always don’t want any attention from everyone else, but when my friends (especially my friends!) ignore, or worse, avoid me, I get real jealous. And when I get jealous I get mean.

I say mean things, and not necessarily about the person I am jealous of, too, which is even worse because some poor sap who has nothing to do with anything might just get cursed at by me.

When I was a kid and I’d get jealous at a cousin or a friend, I’d usually just think of evil things about that person and “handle” things in my head. I don’t kill them off or anything, I just imagine them away. Easy as that. No need for violence. No need for loose words.

It’s childish, I know, but that’s how I’ve always been and I don’t think I’ll ever change.

Now that I’m older, however, I find it is harder for me to control this weird jealousy thing because well, I am more vocal (not by much but I do share my opinions more now, however harsh they may be), I know more words, I am more cunning and my imagination isn’t what it used to be anymore.

AMC once said that I can be quite curt sometimes and that was the first time I realised how much words, no matter how simple, can have a powerful effect on a person when said in the wrong tone, or with damning intent.

This is why I’ve had several silent periods with DG in the 13 years that we’ve known each other. It’s why I used to be so down on myself about a decade ago when I said mean things to AMC and regreted them almost instantly. While things might be fine and dandy between us all now, looking back, I realise what a tool I was and how much better I would have felt then if I had just held back on my words.

In the past few weeks, the green-eyed monster in me is slowly starting to crawl out of hiding and I am very wary of its existence. So far, I have managed to keep my brusqueness at bay, and swallowed my words back up quickly whenever I’ve said something mean about someone (though every now and then somebody does manage to catch it). However, I don’t know how long I can keep this up; I worry that eventually, I will say something mean to that very person, causing everything to go down in flames, never to be repaired.

And when that happens, all that’s left will be me, sitting alone in the dark corner, full of regret, feeling like a fresh turd.

Let’s hope that never happens. I really hate dark corners.

Not alright, still, but getting better. I think hanging around friends and the kids (and one farting baby) in the past few days helped a lot.

Work has also kept me occupied and kept my mind off unimportant things I’d rather forget.

Maybe I’ll completely forget everything by Friday, when the kids and I drink ourselves silly with pints of Guinness. Yep, we’re going to attempt to drink that draught on Friday.

Maria says it has fewer calories than normal beer, so that’s why she’s going black. Wgan doesn’t really like it, but in the spirit of camarederie, he’s going to down a few. Or maybe just one.

Saroja hasn’t said anything yet, but methinks she will not go for it. Kan? She’ll probably drink one of those girly ales like a snakebite or whatever.

- Nisha says: Snake? Bite? -

Me, I’ll drink four pints, I promise. Five, even, if I still don’t feel like myself by then. No matter how much I hated it in the past (well I only had it once, when I was completely wasted and wanted to drink water but the only thing readily available was this guy’s Guinness, heh), I think in my old age - queue laugh track - I’d appreciate something erm, heartier.

Saroja hates this but I don’t care - Today, my Leo horoscope said:
Someone will try to cheat you by making numerous promises; be vigilant, don’t let yourself be swayed. Your relationships with your nearest and dearest will be noticeably reduced; possibilities of absence or moving.

The first one didn’t happen, but the second is pretty much spot on. Well, sort of. That’s basically the main reason for all this three-week-old crap. Damn you horoscope man!

Anyways, as for my weekly horoscope prediction, it said: Be pitiless toward those who don’t cease putting spokes in your wheel. It will be essential to recover your energy completely; give yourself more moments of rest. Don’t forget that whoever pays his debts becomes rich.

I am, and have always been, pitiless towards bitches. Tomorrow morning, if the sun is out early maybe I won’t go for a walk because today was soooo bloody hot! I paid my housing loan on Monday and I am now so poor. Blast!

My daily Dragon horoscope said: Discard from your diet aqueous fruits such as grapes and tomatoes, so as to avoid water retention.

Er, ok.

Weekly Dragon: Your love life will suddenly bloom. Ideal week to get engaged or married.

Uh-huh. Sure. I’ll send out the e-vites soon enough.

I’m starting to like this BlackBerry business, but I still miss my Nokia. I wish I could use both. I love my pink Nokia because it has taken some of the best pictures of myself, and the funniest videos of other people. And when my damn Olympus died on me in the middle of winter in Dusseldorf earlier this year, it was my Nokia that came to rescue, at least where pictures were concerned.

Even so, I love the fact that I can talk for free with my Ayams from all over the world. Okay, just one Ayam from London and, very soon, another Ayam from KK. I don’t really know any other friend who uses a BB, they all seem to have fallen prey to the evilness that is the iPhone.

Apart from that, the BB also allows me easier access to Facebook, which means that I no longer have to wait for er, 30 seconds for my FB page to load on my phone. (On Thursday I’m meeting a former colleague who wants to interview me about my ‘addiction’ to FB. Yay! I am finally an addict of something!) I’m still trying to figure out how to get my ringtones in order. Unlike my Nokia, the BB does not really let me personalise profile settings, which means my ringtones and my SMS tones are basically the same. I think. I dunno, I have to check the manual again and again and again. Crap.

Anyways, I’m hoping me and the kids will finally be able to go out tonight. I’m kinda looking forward to Sid’s, that was a pretty nice place to hang out. Not too old, not too young, not too expensive, not too noisy and not too smokey. I just wish they played better music, though. Heh.

Oh, this afternoon I came across a photo album on FB that featured my original “kids”. They’re all grown up now, many didn’t do a good job of it though, while others looked well, okay I guess. It was weird looking at all those men (ew, it’s so hard to think of those kids as men!) mucking about like they used to in school more than a decade ago. It was even weirder that many of these men still looked the same, only older (definitely not “mature”! Haha) and er, with less hair.

I wonder what they’ll think of me when they actually see me now? The fat “mother” who used to hang out and rough house with the boys. The senior who was so cool, I was the only girl they ever egged, floured and hosed down on my birthday. Or so they said. “Kalau orang lain memang marah bah, kalau kau kami tau kau okay saja.”

Yeah right.

I got home all wet and smelling of eggs. Well, it was fun, nonetheless. The kids got me presents and cake to make up for it, and no matter how crappy those gifts were, I still cherished them. In fact, I still have one of them (the others got broken).

Thanks for the memory boys.

Dear Tayanayam,

Remember when you ragged on me in Krabi for generally being a bitch and a big assed party pooper? And that I had a bad habit of keeping things to myself and letting it all fester in me until I get sick? Or angry? Or depressed? 

Or all of the above? Remember that?

Well, something’s been bothering me lately and I’ve tried real hard to ignore and forget it, in the hopes that in time, it too shall come to pass like so many of my other problems and issues I’ve had in the past.
 
It’s not healthy but it’s the best way I know how to handle things.

Today, however, I decided to follow your advice and talk it out. With Rania.

I told this tiny baby all about who has constantly been in my mind in the past week and she blew me a spit bubble.

I told her why I thought this person was in my mind all the time and she answered with a cute giggle.

I then told her that I was having a hard time trying to forget everything and focus on something else and she replied with a fart.

She looked at me, smiled and sucked her thumb.

You know, sometimes all you need is a different perspective of things. And from this little baby is here what I got: Life may stink like a fart sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still laugh and enjoy the journey. When you are outweighed by your own problems and that of others, you’ll realise that the simplest things (like sucking on a thumb) can make you feel better, even if it is only for a moment.

Spit bubbles? Now that’s a bonus.

My "holiday" is coming to an end. Tomorrow I would have to start the old routine again, and I’m just not looking forward to that. Having had nothing to do at the office has been great because I got to goof off and still got paid for it. One would think that with all that free time at work, I would actually be able to write all those story ideas I had been storing for months.

Er, no such luck.

For one, Scrabulous has taken over my life. I’m still hooked on it till today, and I get very upset when I lose by anything less than 50 points. I get even more upset when my rating falls after I’ve worked so hard on getting it right up there with the big leagues.

It’s only a game, I know, but Scrabble is my favourite board game to date. I used to play all the time — all by my lonesome, as OMY would say. You see, by the time I was old enough to spell, none of my brothers and sister was interested in the game anymore. The kids in my neighbourhood were, well, let’s just say they struggled to speak proper English at the time, and cousins were nowhere in sight.

So, I played Scrabble by myself. I guess it was a little sad and pathetic but hey, I turned out to be a well-balanced human being nonetheless. Plus, my command of the English language rocks, so there!

These days I play online with strangers and friends. I like playing with strangers because it’s pretty challenging, though I do tend to play with people whose ratings are lower than mine heh heh. The only problem is that most of these strangers come from either the US or Britain, so the timing ain’t so great. Because of that, I sometimes have to wait ages for them to make a move and that’s just pretty damn annoying.

Oh well.

Now that I have to get back to the old routine of coming in early and staying back till very late I guess I have to cut back on Scrabulousing.

Anyway, on to a cheerier topic: This morning, after almost five months of being absent from film previews, I actually dragged my ass out of bed early to watch a movie.

"At last… my arm is complete!"

And at last, my hunger for more Johnny Depp action is satiated with Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

In this film adaptation of the Broadway musical (I think it was Broadway, or was it West End? Ah, who cares, right?), Johnny plays Sweeney Todd, a man who was sentenced to a life of hard labour in another land (it’s Australia, but I don’t think it was mentioned in the film) on false charges.

He escapes, and is saved at sea by a young sailor. They head for Sweeney’s old hometown — London, a place filled with people who are filled with shit (hey, those are the words, baby!).

There, he goes back to his old apartment, which he once shared with his lovely wife with yellow hair, and their baby girl. Of course, his family is no longer there. A woman, who proclaims that she makes the worse meat pies in London, tells him that his wife had poisoned herself years ago, and that his child is now under the care of the horrible Judge Turpin, the same guy who sent Sweeney Todd into exile.

Angry, crazy but still beautiful, Sweeney Todd sharpens his barber’s razors and starts plotting his revenge on the judge, with the help of the meat pie lady.

Or something like that lah.

Anyway, not only is the story interesting, the film also has been wonderfully made by kooky director Tim Burton. Expect dark undertones, grey clouds (it’s London, after all), lots of raccoon-eye makeup, crazy hairdos and quirky costumes.

To top it all off, is a singing Johnny Depp.

Helena Bonham Carter sings pretty well too, though I must say the three younger actors in the film are the best singers (sure, the girl sings in an ungodly high-pitched and over-the-top voice but it IS a musical, duh!).

The script was well written, but I have no idea how much of the original script was used so I can’t give credit for that. The songs are pretty great too, and I found myself humming the last song in the film after I walked out of the cinema.

Unfortunately, the overly festive "gong xi, gong xi, gong xi nie" song was piping through the mall’s PA system and I soon started humming that tune instead.

Blast!

Oh, before you pack your kids in the car and head for the nearest cinema to watch the movie (it opens next week), do take note that it is one GORY film. I think there is more throat slitting and blood flowing in this film than in 300!

Even though some slitting of the throats have been censored, it still did give me goosebumps each time Johnny, I mean Sweeney Todd, sharpens his razor. The first kill he makes in the film will sure give some kids nightmares. Worse, your child will never ever go to a barber after that, which is not a good thing if your kid’s a boy…

Okay, it’s getting a little annoying this, posting, re-posting, re-booting and whatever. What’s wrong Mr Server Dude??

I can’t even be bothered to correct one grammatical error I found in the previous post… although, it does bother me a bit. Dang.

So anyways.

Last weekend, a group of us from Sabah took a road trip up north to Perlis.

It was for DK and Hafiz’s wedding kenduri, so I joined in the Sabah rombongan (we took a bus which was named "Dayangti", how apt!) to make things merrier. Aiseh, perasan.

Anyways, HH was also on the "tour" so it was okay. Her mum was there too, and many other aunts, uncles, a few cousins and a niece.

Understandably, going to the northmost state in the peninsula from KL would take a LOOOONG time. It took us almost eight hours really, only because we stopped quite a number of times and for long periods too. I think if we had only stopped twice, we would have reached Perlis much earlier, but it’s alright, it was a fun ride nevertheless.

We stayed at the private residence of the Perlis Menteri Besar (he currently stays at his state/official home). There were more than 30 of us in the group so a few stayed at a nearby hotel, but the bulk of us stayed at the house on Jalan Tembusu (hahaha) in Jejawi/Kangar. If you’re thinking of a huge mansion, you’re wrong. It was actually two separate houses situated on one property.

So okay enough of the boring stuff.

The next day, we went to the groom’s parents’ house. We had great food and were given special treatment since we were "special guests who came ALL THE WAY from Sabah". Ahem :P  It’s not incorrect what…

DK and Hafiz looked great in their er, I wanna say lilac-ky, lavendar-y baju… (in print, it’s really not a macho colour for a guy, but it looks good in real life and in pics heh).

How cool is this? The cake is made from nasi minyak or nasi kuning or whatever you call it, and it is decorated with mashed potatoes, cherry tomatoes, cucumber and parsley. I forgot to eat it though haha. I’m sure it was good, since everything else that day was yummy. Mmm….

There are more pics, and if you know me, you’ll know where to find them

Ah, it must be Christmas.

I just lost a pretty long entry that I had written earlier, but didn’t manage to save before the computer hung. And I’ve been trying to re-post this for the past two hours but have been unsuccessful (bloody server down the whole day!). But I’m still a-okay — bar the cursing though hehe.

Maybe because the entry wasn’t so hot. Or maybe it’s because Christmas and the New Year are beckoning so it’s good to forgive and forget.

Or maybe because I’m so hyped up on sugar and caffeine… I do seem to be skipping a lot these past two days.

OR,

maybe because as of yesterday, there’s basically nothing for me to do at work…

Well, not really NOTHING, but I don’t have to worry about daily pullouts anymore, at least for about five to six weeks. Yay!

Also, yesterday we put up our Christmas trees at work. I brought my trusty old tree from home because I decided to do red and white this year, so I bought a new one (a smaller one, though). That white tree has been up for two weeks and yet I’m still adding ornaments to it.

So anyways, back to the trees at the office. We have two this year because I wouldn’t allow any other colour apart from blue/white/silver on the big tree, and the rest were not too happy about that and decided to put up the smaller tree and add all their stuff on that. Both trees look great, so it’s all good!

Besides, we have the space for more than two trees anyway, and our office is on the first floor (so we get loads more visitors than the others on the higher floors), so show off a bit lah.

I haven’t been buying presents though, or even made a list of things to buy. But since I still have presents from last Christmas which have yet to be picked up by friends, I figured this time I would only get presents for those who actually need things.

I was also thinking of sending stuff back home to my family (no cousins though, heh sorry!), since I have never done that before in the 11 years I’ve been in KL. It’s okay, I always make up for it during Chinese New Year

I sent a big package to KK recently for some of the younger kids, and for my mum, dad and sister.

Unfortunately, I forgot about ONE nephew! You see, that’s the thing about having 13 nieces and nephews, you always forgot one person.

The poor kid had just gotten his UPSR results too, kesian… What a bad aunty I am

Oh well, he’ll get a gift in the mail soon enough.

Whoa. It’s been a while…

Anyway… just got back from a working trip to Japan and this time around, I got to see Osaka and Kyoto. Didn’t spend much time there though, but at least the places I did manage to go to were nice.

Before that I went to HK for like two days. That was quite fun too, and I wish it was for a longer period.

Before that I went back to KK for the year’s grand wedding. It was a four-day affair, and friends from all over the world dropped by to join in the fun (good Lord doesn’t this sound like a brochure?). Tayan came back, and this time around we got to spend loads of time together because we were the only ones who were on holiday at the time. And Rats was busy getting married so we really didn’t want to get in her way… haha.

Also, I got myself two new nephews — Benjamin Graham from my sister, and Xavier McCallum from me cousin. Yay!

Ah, and the Swiss Misses came back too. JY was back for a spell a few months back, and Anna and family are currently in KK spending precious time with her kin and friends. They’ll be back in KL in a few days, so I gets to see the precious little Alesha again yay!

But I am bummed out that I didn’t get to meet Mr Jonah Teo though. It would’ve been great to tickle his fancy.

Speaking of tiny tykes, everyone’s waiting for Pops to pop. It’ll be a boy, says the mama, so I guess I won’t be buying any tiny cute dresses anytime soon. Osso’s pregs too, but she doesn’t know the baby’s sex yet. Baby Mikhail is turning one soon, while the cheeky little Baby Ciaran turned one in July.

Yes, everybody’s either with child or already has a child/children. It’s the baby-making year, don’t you know?

Egads, not writing for a long time has certainly affected my ability to come up with interesting stories… One would think that after a long hiatus, there’d be tons to talk about. Sheesh.